Daily Life, Thoughts

The Chosen Makes You Think

So this past week I finally sat down and watched The Chosen. My husband and I and some of our kids watched it over the course of a few days. It has been awhile since we had a series to watch together. Again, I have pretty high standards. I don’t tolerate much swearing and immorality even though the story “is so good”.

I’d seen this series advertised and I didn’t give it really a second thought. Then I saw a gal I follow on Instagram saying she finally gave it a good try and got hooked and binge watched it multiple times. Okay I thought, I’ll give it a shot. I downloaded the app and started to watch it. I got maybe halfway through the first episode and I was hooked.

It was so good!

Do I think that it is 100% accurate? No. But what I do think is that it is good.

For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.

Moroni 7:5

I was praying and wondering if it was a good thing and the answer I got was “If it brings you to Christ it is a good thing.” Good enough for me.

I am excited for Season 2. The first one made me cry, made me laugh, and made me feel more of a longing to have more of a relationship with my Savior. He is my elder brother. The Chosen I don’t think took away from the deity of Christ, but rather showed him in more of a 3D perspective. It reminded me that He knows me and loves me and understands what it is like to go through mortality.

So this weekend if you have some time and even if you think you don’t, you should give the show a chance.

Daily Life

Missing

Last night and this morning were stressful. There is a holiday around here where we celebrate our pioneer heritage and some celebrate with fireworks. I didn’t use fireworks and never saw any but we sure heard them. For over two hours. Boom! Boom! Boom! I am half deaf and didn’t know they were going on until later.

After prayer we sent the kids to bed and the dog wasn’t sleeping where she normally does. We’d left her out back to go do her thing. We looked all over inside the house. Called outside. Walked around the neighborhood. Drove around the neighborhood. She was nowhere to be found. I told the kids she’d probably be home by morning.

I was wrong.

I had gotten up several times in the night to check and see if she was outside the front door. She wasn’t. I prayed and worried myself sick. At just before six as the sun was about to peek over the horizon I got up and dressed and got Michael up and had him come with me to drive around and look for our dog. No sign of her. We figured the fireworks scared her away. We always put her in the house during fireworks. This year all the festivities were canceled due to covid so I didn’t think about it.

When we came home from the first drive of looking I put a notice out on Facebook about what happened and a picture. A friend suggested I call the police. I did. They didn’t have her but would let me know if she was brought in.

I was restless and teary the whole morning. I had done all I could. It was a waiting game now. I sat at the table making rolls and Benjamin came up behind me and gave me a hug. He said it would all be okay and that she would be home soon. It was so sweet of him and I really hoped for the kids’ sake that it was true.

A few hours later a friend commented on my post that a woman on another Facebook page had found my dog. Yes! My stomach had been clenched tight for hours and it finally relaxed. The woman called me and we confirmed that it was indeed Skylar, my dog. I kept crying but this time tears of gratitude and happiness. We went and picked up Skylar. The people who found her said they found her in the back corner of their yard just shaking. She had managed to get herself over a mile away through lots of fields to where she ended up. When we got to her and saw her we were so happy. She jumped in the van right away. The kids were petting her and talking to her. Lauren and I were crying. I think the dog was relieved, too. She doesn’t do well when we’re gone and to be lost probably put her over the edge. She stuck closer to me than usual the rest of the day.

The kids think that I don’t like the dog. I really do and I hope they realize it now. She is with me pretty much all day and though I sometimes need a break, I do care about her.

When we got home we said prayers of gratitude. Gratitude that she was returned to us so quickly. Gratitude that she was alive and unharmed. Gratitude for the help of others in finding her.

I really hope she never goes missing again. She will definitely be inside on all firework holidays and days surrounding them from now on.

Daily Life

There is Peace

I don’t think I wrote about this so I will try again.

I had been struggling. I could see myself getting off track. Nothing major but I could feel myself distancing myself from God. I don’t know why exactly. I was being a stubborn and petulant child. I wasn’t enjoying the feeling of it either but my stubborn pride would not let me fix it. I told myself “not now, I’m not ready” which is a very sad mindset. But just like when my children are upset and refuse to be comforted I patiently wait until they are ready. I am sure that my Heavenly Father does the same. How hard it must be for Him to patiently wait for so many of His children who refuse to be comforted to finally- hopefully- come to Him.

I finally am coming back around. It has been four months since we’ve been to church. Church makes it easy. You just show up and share the job of teaching each other. Sometimes you just show up and learn. But at home it is all on me and Alex to teach our children. We made it a priority to have church at home every single Sunday. It is work. It is good work, but it is work. There is no one to carry you along. No one to make sure you do it. It is all on you. It has been an opportunity to see what our priorities are and are we willing to follow Christ when no one else will see it?

Like I said, I was getting off track. I didn’t feel the spirit like I needed to because I wasn’t doing what I needed to. I started doing what I needed to. I started praying more and with more thought and sincerity. I started to study the scriptures more earnestly. I started listening to more uplifting podcasts and religious material. I got back on track and it will be a daily effort to stay there.

In the scriptures Christ commands us to pray always that we will not be tempted. He didn’t say it because it sounded like a good thing to say. He said it because it is imperative. As I follow the news daily I am astonished at how much we need the Gospel of Christ. It really is the only true anchor we have in a world of shifting values and daily changing opinions and “truth”.

It might have been easy to just float along as a Christian up until a few months ago but it feels like we are being sifted now. Where do you stand now? Are you firmly rooted in Christ or are you wish-washy, still trying to grasp the world? It has been interesting to watch these days unfold. It was prophesied that in the last days before Christ would return that men would call good evil and evil good. I never understood how it could be possible really until now. To me it feels like time is running out. Chaos seems to multiply daily and it is time to choose a side. As it says in the scriptures, “Choose you this day whom you will serve.”

I hope that things are going well for any who read this. I hope there is peace in your life. This song is so beautiful and if you have a minute or two to listen to it I highly recommend you do so.

Have a great day!

Daily Life

It’s Been a Couple Days With A Lot of (Little) Miracles

I’ve said this before and I will say it again (and again)- if you look for them, miracles happen all the time.

Earlier this week Michael said that he needed $10 so he could go out and eat lunch with his friend. I gave him a pickax and a spot of ground and he got to work digging. It was a patch of weeds that I wanted to plant grass in- grass os easier to take care of than controlling weeds. It took him a couple hours over a few days. He gained $10 and some muscles to boot. We all won.

I spent several hours weeding this patch of dirt. Two 5-gallom buckets full of weeds and rocks were pulled out of this patch. My plan was to get it prepped to plant grass seed. It would be a weeks long process growing grass from seed. Then one night I was done working on the yard when I checked my Facebook feed. A man in my church had posted that he had extra sod from a project. Free to whomever got there first. I grabbed two of the kids and we jumped into the van and headed over. It was still there. Over 60 square feet of sod. It really was a blessing. Saved me so much time. A miracle because it showed up right when I could use it.

I still have some work to do on it but that work was cut down significantly.

Next miracle. I have wanted some nightstands to match my dresser I got last year. I finally had the money saved up and I was planning on buying them and picking them up this weekend. I just couldn’t make it feel right. I tried and tried and tried. It just felt wrong. I kept trying to make it feel right because I wanted them and I couldn’t see a logical reason to not get them. But I finally gave into the feeling and like a petulant child said to Heavenly Father “Fine, I’ll do it your way though I don’t understand why.”

(As a quick aside, the store, IKEA, is in Salt Lake City, hours from my house and shipping is ridiculous but I would be nearby when visiting my family over the weekend so picking them up wouldn’t be a big deal.)

When I got home Saturday night I finally checked the news. Rioting and vehicles set on fire in Salt Lake City last night. I might have or might not have been in the area when all the chaos broke out. I’m sure I wouldn’t have been in harm’s way but I am grateful that I was able to avoid all of it.

Another miracle happened on the way home. As we left my parents house the weather that had been hot and pleasant all day turned into thunderstorms. About halfway home in the fading light and the worst part of the drive for it to happen, the storms let loose. I have a hard time seeing the road at dusk and the rain didn’t help. The winds picked up and I was having a hard time keeping the van driving straight as the big gusts would push the van violently. I told the kids to pray. I was praying and putting all my concentration into keeping us from crashing. There was literally nowhere to pull over and wait it out as we were in a canyon. It seemed as though as soon as the prayers were uttered the windshield wipers worked better, the headlights seemed brighter, the winds let up, the rain let up and I was able to see where we were going. Lauren said she noticed it too as she prayed. It was scary. The rest of the drive was still rainey, some parts a heavy downpour, but I was able to see well enough without panicking. The lighting flashing around us was amazing and we were able to enjoy the rest of the ride.

There were more, too, as I sit here thinking about it and though they seem small and possibly insignificant and some people would explain them away as mere coincidences or imagined threats, I choose to see them for what they are- God’s hand in my life, evidence that he cares for us and that he cares about the little things- the details. All we have to do is look.

Daily Life

Power Outage

I sat in the basement listening to my oldest son try to play catch up with his band homework from the last two months. Hard lesson to learn. But it is something that I have been learning. Keeping up is easier than catching up and life is really just work. The piper will be paid at some point.

I was weeding the other night and i was thinking that life is work. You can’t really cheat. You can’t really take the easy way because you miss out when you go that route. You really just cheat yourself.

The boys got all their work done and passed their classes. One subject with one child left.

Wednesday morning I got up and the forecast was raining. It wasn’t dumping rain, it is Idaho and it never really does and only for a few minutes. It was dry enough so I was up and at ’em. It started to sprinkle as I walked and the sun peeked through the clouds. A rainbow before 7 a.m. it was a good start to the day.

I thought my washer was level but it wasn’t. One sure way to ruin a washing machine is for it to not be level. Ugh. I had Alex help me before he left for work. The front couldn’t go any different so I had to fix the back. Alex had to go and I was left to figure it out. I pulled the washer out and found out that the rear legs are stationary. I had to problem solve. This all happened before my walk. I needed the walk for time to figure this problem out.

This is what the floor looked like under the washer. Its messed up, right?! (Sorry for the blurry picture.)

I did my workout and then got on my knees and prayed for help to know the best way to fix the problem. I figured that since I am going to be gutting the whole thing anyways I might as well start by ripping out the section under the washer. The exact tools came to mind and how to do the whole thing. I got up and went to the garage to look for the crowbar. The tools are usually not where they should be. I looked for a minute and then called Alex. Before he could answer I saw the crowbar across the garage. It took me maybe 15 minutes to get the floor out and the thing leveled. Talk about prayers answered. I have about 10 more loads of laundry to do so I am glad it didn’t take long to fix.

The gas lines are being replaced or fixed or something in my neighborhood and so there has been construction going on. All day it was rumbling and loud truck and backhoe noise. It will continue as they do the road in front of our house. They were working on the side one first.

It was a chilly rainy day. I’m not a fan of the cold but it was pretty.

While I was putting the little kids down for a nap the power went out. I found out because the kids emerged out of the basement. Cloudy rainy days make the basement really dark with no power. The power was scheduled to come on at 5. Okay, 2 more hours to go. The kids were bored because it was cold and rainy so they were stuck inside. I said cleaning is a good cure but they wanted nothing to do with that. I cleaned the best I could without power. Washed dishes by hand, washed some walls, cleaned up the “classroom” since we didn’t need it for at least 3 more months, cleaned the little boys cave dump bedroom, and then we went to the store to find food for dinner and to get out of the house. Taco salad was on the menu.

We got home and I checked the power status. Not scheduled to come on until 8. What?! Ugh. Fine. Alex said to ser up the gas camping stove to cook the meat. I did. He cooked the beef in the garage when he got home. We ate and then had ice cream cones. I looked at the status again. No power until 10 p.m. No!!! My phone was dead, all the flashlights are in the 72-hour kits and I wasn’t willing to drag them out. So we read scriptures in the fading light, the kids built a blanket fort and we all went to bed with the sun. I got 9 hours of sleep. It was wonderful. In total the power was out for over 8 hours.

It was comical yet sad that the kids were so bored. I had to explain that electricity is a very modern invention and that people before it managed to survive. I am not bothered too much when the power goes out. Just an inconvenience. I am glad for it sometimes because gives us a chance to see where we could improve. I do love having electricity though. It makes everything so much easier.

So that was the last couple days. Power is back on and I have the laundry from yesterday to catch up on as well as a huge stack of dishes. Schoolwork and who knows what else awaits me today.

Daily Life

Plan to Fail

You know that saying, “If you fail to plan then you plan to fail”? It felt like my motto lately and I was tired of it.

Yesterday I was tired and a bit ornery. I did not want to get up and walk. I did not want to get up and exercise. I’ve been down this road before and I knew where it went. Skip one day and it turns into two and then you stop all together. I got up. It’s why I walk on Sunday- it is just something I do no matter what. I’ve been at it for a month now and I don’t want to quit. I even exercised and it was hard but it didn’t hurt. Until this morning. Then I thought about it and realized that I did at least 60 push ups. They weren’t all the way down and I was on my knees but I did them and I have never done close to that amount before.

I am starting to grow up. Is it fun? No. Is it hard? Yes. Can I do hard things? Yes.

Yesterday Benjamin was assigned a video to watch for geography class. He didn’t want to watch it. What else is new? These kids fight me every step of the way. As hard as this homeschool thing is, I am starting to figure it and the kids out; when to push and how hard. Now that it is almost over.

This speech is so good. I made him watch it. I had seen a bit of it floating around Facebook weeks ago but the whole thing is worth the watch. It was motivating for me and applicable since I’d been thinking along those lines lately. I needed to change up how I was operating.

I bought a planner yesterday. I gathered my stuff together and started listing what needed to be done. On an old schedule I had made I had a deep cleaning task assigned to each day of the month with the idea that if everything is deep cleaned once a month then it only takes a little chunk of time rather than hours. I looked and the days task was living room baseboards. Hmmm. They weren’t painted yet. Wiping primed baseboards is a pain. It wouldn’t look clean if I did it. So I got the sand paper out, sanded down the nail holes Alex had filled when he installed the baseboards and then found the paint. What?! You read right. I not only painted the baseboards (the half that had been prepped- I have the other half of the room to do still) but I washed all the trim around the door, entry, and windows and put a fresh coat on them. It looks so nice! It had been looking worn down and dingy. No more. I was so proud of myself. I felt so accomplished. I made a plan to finish the rest of the room this week.

I used to do projects all the time. All the time. There isn’t a corner of this house I haven’t done something to (for better or for worse) and I had lost my steam, my motivation, my desire to do anything really. I just did the bare minimum and was just getting by and passing time. It is a bad rut to be stuck in. But I think I am finally clawing my way out.

I realized as I was thinking over all the little things that are slowly changing and shifting, that my prayers are being answered. They aren’t all lighting and thunder bolts, heavenly visions or anything. Just an idea here and there, a shift in perspective, little changes, course corrections that make a big difference in the long run.

Noah is a funny kid and lately he has been saying this phrase in a funny voice akin to Roz in the Monsters Inc. movie. He uses the voice and says “God is always watching you. Always watching.” It is so random and so funny. And so true. God is invested in us, in our lives, the little things. All we have to do is pay attention and we’ll see it.

Daily Life

A Day Out of the House

This morning was grey and kind of chilly. And the wind had started up a little. I decided I can handle the cold. I really don’t like cold wind though. At all.

I was in kind of a bad mood. Defeated is more like it. I was upset because last night Alex and I worked on a detailed list of every item needed to fix the house up. We only got half way through and didn’t even get the labor in yet and it was at almost $40,000. Y’all, that was supposed to be my whole budget. The wind was out of my sails and I was down in the dumps. I was really looking forward to getting it all done and out of the way. So today as I went about trying to do stuff, I thought of ways to cut costs and also what we could do ourselves to save on labor costs. It comes down to doing the three/four important rooms and the rest will just be done cash flowed and one at a time when we can do it. Welcome to the real world.

Despite all the mental setbacks I got up and went for my walk anyways. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to scriptures or say my prayers or walk. But I did them all anyways and I am glad I did. Praying lately has been hard for me. I read all the sad and hard things that are going on in the world and it is such a heavy load. There was this one family in particular who’s story I was following and I would just weep every time I thought of them. It was getting harder and harder to spend my walks just crying and praying for these people. The thought came to me though that it wasn’t my job. Christ had already done the heavy lifting for these people– the whole world in fact. He’d already felt it all and taken care of it all and knows the best way to help. Life is hard but we weren’t meant to do it alone. He already did that.

There is a story in the scriptures about a man named Enos. It was my favorite when I was little and it is still one of my favorites. He goes hunting and while out there he remembers his father, Jacob, talking about the Savior. He starts to pray and he prays all day and into the night. First about himself and the help he needs and forgiveness for his sins. Then he prays for his family and extended family and then basically everyone. That is how I feel sometimes. I have to cut myself short because I could literally pray all day and all night sometimes.

I did feel better by the end of my walk. Good thing too because I had to take all the kids to the dentist today. Just a side note, none of us had a fever. Had to get checked before we could go it. The dentist appointment was the usual crazy juggling it is when you take 8 kids at the same time. But the news was all pretty good.

It was lunchtime so I went to Little Cesar’s and got pizza. I will say one thing though: if Covid-19 continues to spread like wild fire it will be because of people like the one person who came into the store after me. I went in and kept my distance from the person in front of me. A person with incredibly bad manners came in after me. There wasn’t much room to begin with but instead of taking note that I was giving the person in front of me space, she took it as an opportunity to get in line next. Didn’t acknowledge me at all. No “are you in line?” Nothing. Didn’t look at me. Am I wrong to be upset? I didn’t say anything to her but I just thought it was a bit inconsiderate.

We took the pizza to Alex’s work and ate lunch with him. He took the kids on a tour since the machines were all turned off during the lunch hour. The kids enjoyed it.

We went to Sam’s Club afterwards. I left all the kids in the van and I hurried and did the shopping. I loaded all the groceries into the van and then went to start the van. It wouldn’t start. The kids had turned it on halfway to run the air and radio. They killed the battery. I called Alex to come jump the battery and as he was on his way the lady who was parked in front of me came to her car. I asked if she would help me but she said she couldn’t because the battery in her car was in the back. Okay. Poor design choice. The empty spot in front of us was quickly filled and I probably scared to old man when I came up to him as he was opening his door. He agreed to help, thank goodness. It took just a few minutes and we were on our way. I thanked him and wished him a good day. The kids now know to turn the car on all the way or not at all.

That trip took up most of the day. We got zero schoolwork done. I read on Facebook today some lady said that it isn’t homeschool, it is crisis school. She is completely correct. This situation is nowhere near normal. Crisis school indeed. But I told the kids to expect hours of school tomorrow. We’ll hope we actually do it and survive.

Daily Life, Dating My Sweetheart

Tuesday

Tuesday was a good day. Monday had been a struggle in the fact that the house was a disaster. I told myself I would keep this blog real and this is real. I had been meaning to get the kitchen/ dining room portion of the basement cleaned for days. We’d cleaned the carpeted/living area daily but beyond the couch the kids didn’t recognize as being part of the basement. They didn’t consider their rooms to be part of it, truth be known. It had gotten bad and one reason or another it had slipped off the to do list. Out of sight out of mind. I’d walk by and say that I’d get to it in a minute and then get distracted by something. My ADD (I swear I have it) would pull me in a million different directions but not to that one thing. Moldy bowls of food were hiding out of sight, sticky spills on the floor and table, pudding splattered on the counters, garbage that didn’t make it to the can. It was looking like a mild case of hoarders. I hadn’t gone into that room, just walked by on my way to do other stuff. I knew I needed to get to it.

I got up and went for a walk. I took the time to pray and I asked for help because I needed help focusing. Sometimes I can focus with laser ability but most of the time I’m like a pinball bouncing around without any clue which direction I’m going to go next. I prayed to be able to find solutions and for help to get done what I needed to get done. As I was praying, I could see in my mind’s eye exactly what needed to be done and in what order and even how to do it. Little miracles. I got everything done that I was needing to do. The kids helped and the mess was cleaned really fast. They even cleaned their rooms quickly. I was shocked because we’d been nagging them for weeks to clean their rooms all the way.

One of the things that I saw to do was a school schedule and a chore chart. I have a couple charts of things the kids need to do and they are fairly good at getting them done but they needed a little more direction. I’ll implement it today and see if I can get the ball rolling.

(It’s true.)

I’ll tell you about another miracle. This is a big one and it is not mine. My sister-in-law moved to be closer to her work this past week. She moved into a rental and cleaned out her house to rent or sell. It is a large townhouse, newer, and thus it isn’t cheap. The economy going down wasn’t going to help matters. She asked for her family to pray that it would sell because she needed it sold this week. We all prayed and y’all, it sold. In less than a week. She signed the papers tonight. An investor happened to be in town today looking for property and bought it right there and then for asking price! God answers some prayers really fast!

Alex and I went on a date tonight. We needed an outing. I told him I wanted a date that didn’t include Walmart. We went and got Taco Time and the guy taking our order didn’t hear half our order. Oh well, we didn’t need it anyways. We drove to a local park and the place was packed! It is a college town and it was all room mates and newlyweds all over. The whole town looks like nothing has changed except you have to do take-out for everything. Social distancing at its finest. Not.

We sat and people watched while we ate in our car. One guy had a gun in the back of his pants. We thought it was a bit odd. Did he really need protection while playing lacrosse with his girlfriend?

The date idea Alex came up with was to find properties for sale that had at least an acre of land and go see them. There were quite a few but only one I would have bought because the view is what I’ve been wanting since I moved here. A view of the Teton mountains. Look it up and tell me you wouldn’t want that outside your window. It was a fun date. We talked and dreamed and didn’t go grocery shopping. And dinner was only $15. Not bad. It is so nice having kids who are old enough to babysit so we can go on a date whenever we need to.

That was pretty much it. Bring on the next day.

Daily Life

Replacements, Injuries, and Pecking Order

Where to begin. I got my washing machine delivered this morning. They were kind enough to put it on the piano dolly in my entry. I was able to get it to the laundry room and installed. It took a few mintues to figure out the settings and new buttons but it works. And it is quiet! My old machine was loud compared to this, even before I “fixed” it. I was able to get laundry done today!

I sat down and had four kids doing schoolwork at once this morning. Three are all caught up on math so there is that. I even texted 40 pictures of homework to the one teacher- she asked for it. Then after talking to another teacher in a parent teacher conference I took another look at the google classroom set up and found where to click that would take me to all the assignments. That would have been helpful weeks ago. Even the kids didn’t know about it. Lame. It should make it easier from here on out or at least we’ll havemore off a clue. I made one kid sit there and do all the assignments. I do agree wholeheartedly with him though that it is made harder when the teachers send you to so many different programs to work on so many different things and you’ve got to get passwords and logins for all of them.

One last thing on the school front- the one teacher who said she was trying to make it easy? I got 6 different emails from her today. I told Alex and he said that they were important ones, right? Not just one liners? Nope 2 important ones and 4 totally unnecessary one liners.

After the kids had finished (just in time for spring break this weekend) they all went outside to ride bikes and go for walks. I got up and decided to clean while I had the house empty and had the chance. 5 mintues later Benjamin came in crying. I asked what was wrong. He’d been riding his sister’s bike and wasn’t used to the brakes and ended up hitting his head on the curb. Well, broken bones, scrapes and cuts i can deal with. Head injuries aren’t my specialty and i know that you dont mess with those. He had a big swollen lump on the back of his head, no bleeding (his longish thick hair helped keep the skin from getting too scraped up) and he was crying hard and said it hurt. So I told him to go get in the van.

The battery was dead.

Thank you children for not shutting doors all the way. I needed to jump the van. The truck was at home but it is a stick shift and I don’t really drive stick. It was important that I get to the appointment so I decided to brave it and drive the truck over to the van to jump the battery. Laugh if you want, but, I am proud to say that I did it and I didn’t kill the engine. I got the van jumped and off we went.

Turns out that he didn’t have a concussion and the doctor told me what to watch out for. So Benjamin just needs to take it easy. He still has a headache.

I stopped at Walmart on my way home because I needed a mop. My mop broke. I know, right?! Just another thing to break. Let’s just keep replacing and fixing things, why not. I have parts coming to fix my couch, too. The springs broke year as ago and I’m tired of not being able to sit on it right. This is not how I pictured my life.

Later when Alex got home he saw his truck where I left it and he was confused. I left it there to prove I could drive it. He told me to prove it by parking it back where it was. Fine.

Michael had stopped working on his homework to babysit while I’d gone to the doctor’s so tonight he tried working on it again. He needed ro record the script he’d written for a history assignment. Hard to do in a house full of people who don’t know how to be quiet. I told him to record the audio after the kids had gone to bed. He makes his life harder sometimes. He likes to animate so that’s how he chooses to do assignments. Lots of work but way more fun to watch than a research paper.

The weather was so nice this afternoon that we spent time outside. I weeded the front flowerbed aound the tulips and raked all the old wood chips from when Alex and Edgar chopped firewood last year. We’ve never done anything with the side yard. It actually is just about an 8×20 patch of weeds. I never know what to do with it. Some years we’ve parked cars on it. As I was raking I found some old pumpkin guts from last year with a bunch of seeds. I thought maybe it would be a good idea to just plant a bunch of pumpkins there this year. Why not. I picked up some of the seeds to plant there this weekend.

Tonight I told the kids that it might be the first day of spring break tomorrow but we are cleaning the whole house and the garage too because the chicks are stinking up my house and I want them outside! In case you are new to chicken raising and are wondering why the chicks are inside and not out in the coop with the other full grown chickens, let me let you in on a little information: chickens are mean! Okay, they are actually awesome pets but there is a reason that the sayings “hen pecked”, “pecking order”, and “rule the roost” exist. The older ones will eat the ones who can’t hold their own. If you can’t defend yourself then you won’t make it. Survival of the fittest. I’ll keep the chicks out in the garage when I build then a safe place from predators like cats. Tomorrow.

Also, if you’d like to join in the Worldwide Fast for Relief from Coronavirus, we’d love to have you join us on Friday.

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Up Early

Since we went to bed early last night I was awake at about 4:30. That is so early. But as soon as I woke up my brain got to work thinking of useless information. I probably wouldn’t mind if there was something useful going on but there wasn’t. So I got up shortly after because, why not.

I sorted the mail basket which was filled with papers that needed to be filed. It was a good thing I did because I found some information I needed but couldn’t remember the specifics. I also filled out a survey that had come in the mail (I normally wouldn’t have but they sent me a dollar last week and I felt obligated. Whatever. It only took me a couple minutes.)

Since the house was quiet I thought I would study my scriptures. I didn’t get far before all the kids started to wake up and start moving around. I kept going anyways. Gideon sat next to me and worked on his homework. He’s getting better at reading, thank goodness. I was worried for a while.

The past little bit I have been struggling. Not like a daily thing, but just something that has been on my mind. I am not looking for sympathy or anything, just trying to figure out my life. In living life day in and day out I feel like there is just something more– I have most likely mentioned this before so bear with me. I feel like something is missing that is just out of reach. Like there is something beyond the door that if I could just find the key I could open the door and get to it.

This morning as I started to study I read 1 Nephi 11 and the parts that stuck out to me were “…and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me…”, “…thou knowest I believe”, “…because thou believest in the Son of the most high God… thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired.” Believing was obviously something I needed to hear this morning.

Also, I read this on Instagram, “Being sad, disappointed, angry, or discouraged with life is not a sign you lack faith in God. Faithfulness doesn’t require you to pretend you don’t feel human emotion. Faithfulness invites you to turn to the One who understands all human emotion.” –Hank R. Smith.

I had prayed this morning and these were the beginnings of an answered prayer. I love when prayers are answered. But I also love that God is just waiting to answer our prayers. We just have to ask and do our part.

I still have a long ways to go to figure out the answers to my questions, ponderings, struggles – everything! This morning was a good start.

What got me thinking is I was looking at a friend’s post on Facebook and she is pregnant with her 6th baby, works full time, has been going to school and is currently working on getting her doctorate. I feel pretty pathetic when compared to that. I cleaned up parts of the house yesterday. Whoohoo. Do I feel like I am falling short? You betcha.

I could go to school and get some great degree and get some great job. Would we be better off financially? Would we have more opportunities? Yes, I could and we would, but what would I have to trade to get that? What would I miss out on? Probably so much. I know that is not the path for me but where the struggle comes in is I feel like I am supposed to do more but I don’t know what that is or how to do it.

Anyways, enough of that for now.

I didn’t accomplish much today. I did do part of what I set out to do and then I fell asleep holding Evangeline during her nap. Oops. Oh well.

For dinner I tried my hand at tortillas. Again. Good again but not what I wanted them to be. We had breakfast burritos and hashbrowns for dinner.

But guess what. My little lecture last night worked. I set the timer for ten minutes and we had the kitchen cleaned up in ten minutes. It was amazing. My life. (Insert eye roll.)

Since we had time we watched a movie I had started the other day. It was a cute, fun, and funny movie on Amazon Prime called We Love You, Sally Carmichael. I want my house decorated like the girls house on the movie. The kids thought I was ridiculous and said stuff like “it’s just a couch, you cant take it with you when you die”. Um, yeah kids, but I’d still like nice furniture.

Now if the baby would just go to sleep then so could I.